What an insane year 2020 was, am I right? The last time I updated this website was in April of 2020 as the world was shutting down around me. Have you heard of Covid-19? If you have not, I would gladly join you under whatever rock you have been hiding under. The pandemic has brought a lot of added stress to many lives, and I wish I could say that it seems like things will be back to “normal” soon, but what is normal? Is there a new normal? Has anything ever been normal?
Normal is a social construct made to make those of us who feel anything but bad about themselves. Even amongst those of us in the mental health community “normal” is a vague goal that we all strive to reach. To what end? In the last year I have wondered many things, in the midst of losing a lot of opportunities and seeing things rapidly change and adapt to the world around me, it really comes down to, what’s the point?
Then brings in the existential crisis of why am I here? What I have learned is that the only constant is change. There is a need we all poses to control the outcome of everything that comes in and out of our lives. In order to maintain my sanity and not fuck off into the abyss never to be heard from again, I’ve found the few things that bring me joy and clung to them like a life vest in the shit-storm of life. Finding joy in small things and discovering what really truly matters in my life has been the best adventure. Learning to allow the universe to flow and let go of control and that “need to know” mindset has been the hardest and easiest thing I have ever done.
I’ve made so many discoveries about what truly matters and chasing the things that bring true joy is all that really matters, everything else is just background noise.
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